my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
