I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
