fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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