Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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