Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
