Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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