Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
