I wish I could teleport
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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