Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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