smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
