He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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