But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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