Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
