Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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