i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
