May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
