i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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