She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
