I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
