She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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