dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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