I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
