was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
