im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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