Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm at about main and main street
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
