Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My bed smells like the plague
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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