That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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