started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
