Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
