Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
