If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
