You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
