I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
