remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
