So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
