Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
