your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's always time for handjobs
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
