I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
