apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
