12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
