Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I enjoy the company of your penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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