So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
