she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
