Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
