So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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