The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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