Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
