Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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