Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
