last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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