I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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