The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
