i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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