Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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