I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize