Already got asked if we're dating
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
