I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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