My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
