So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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