I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think i have two assholes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This house was built for laser tag.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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