dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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