I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
