Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
