Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
