If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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