using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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