Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you didnt know i had herpes?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
