i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize