Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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