Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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