eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
