im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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