and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Farmville is her only friend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
