so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym