is your mom at the bar?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.