Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
