i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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