I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
