Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
