Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
